Jack's Story

Bex and Rich from Plymouth are parents to Tommy, Jack and Sam. 

When Tommy was 2 and a half Bex became pregnant with Jack.  The couple were told at one of their scans that there was a possibility that the baby Jack had a narrowing of the aorta, but specialists were certain that he would be okay and not to worry.

Despite a normal and natural labour, a few hours after Jack was born Bex could sense that something wasn’t right. 

Bex said: 

“There was nothing in his records that would’ve stated there was an issue, but as a mum, I didn’t feel that he was breathing or feeding properly; I just had a gut feeling.”

Bex and Rich couldn’t take Jack back home as they imagined they would after his birth, they stayed at Derriford hospital where things began to escalate for the family. Jack was moved to the High Dependency Unit and then transported to Southampton hospital’s paediatric unit.

During this time Jack suffered multiple organ failures, but his family were told that he could still go on to live a normal life, albeit after a few surgeries. He would have limitations, but he would be a young, happy, healthy boy.

After a few days, Jack’s case became severe, and the family had no choice but to turn to palliative care, and that’s when they were introduced to Little Harbour and their journey with Children’s Hospice South West (CHSW) began.

“We weren’t necessarily aware of Little Harbour when their support was offered to us, we’d heard of Little Bridge House, but we didn’t know Little Harbour was Plymouth’s closest hospice”, said Bex.

The paediatric team brought the family safely to the hospice, but Jack was deteriorating so rapidly that, on arrival, the Little Harbour Team had to act quickly to ensure Bex, Rich and Tommy could spend some precious time with him before he deteriorated any further.

The hospice gave us the biggest welcome; it’s like walking into a massive hug. I don’t know how a building could hug you, but it does.

Bex describes the hospice as “a family that we love that we wish we’d never had to meet”. 

The team at Little Harbour instantly made Bex, Rich and Tommy feel so welcome, so at home and so understood.

“They were all so compassionate and they knew what we needed more than we did, as we were in such a whirlwind. I know that both myself and my husband, and my family, would not be the same if we had not had that care and support. They were so respectful and so beautiful with everything that they did.

Jack died at Little Harbour just 9 days old with Bex, Rich and Tommy.

The hospice is Jack’s home, we never got to take him home, he only went to Little Harbour.

9 years on from Jack’s death, the family are still supported by Little Harbour. They have day visits once a year and attend the Bereavement Days and Fun Days held by the hospice.

“We would love to be there more, but we fully appreciate that there are people who need the care we had. Some families find it hard to go back, but it is a place of sanctuary where we can be a family.”

“Our journey is very different to many other families’. Ours was very short in its whirlwind rollercoaster. Some families need that care and stability for so much longer and we can see how much that is appreciated by every family that we have got to know since.”

Bex is a keen fundraiser and does all she can to spread awareness of CHSW and raise funds. This is her way of keeping Jack’s memory alive.

“It is all about being able to do something for Jack. We can do many things for our 2 boys, but we can’t do a lot for Jack.

“Raising funds and awareness, being part of that community and supporting other families as well. Nobody’s paths are the same, but we have had a glimpse of what only a small proportion of people, thank goodness, ever feel. 

It is isolating, if you can be that branch for someone it can give them the hope that if they’re not okay today, they will be eventually.

Bex expressed her admiration for the Little Harbour team:

“They’ve nailed the concept of not always having to put on a brave face, but to know that things will get better at some point. They suck you in with this love, care and compassion and tell you it’s alright to feel rubbish, but things will get better.”

Read more about Tommy and Sam here.