Jail and Bail

Jail and Bail Plymouth 2017

On Friday 24 February 2017 these 12 Plymouth business men and women faced the ultimate fundraising challenge.

Following a court hearing, our felons were locked up for four hours at Devonport Guildhall, each tasked with raising a bail amount of £999.

Corporate Partnerships Fundraiser for CHSW Lorna Damella said: “We have got some great characters taking part in Jail and Bail, all of whom are going to have to work hard and pull in favours from all of their contacts in the business community to get enough donations to bail them out of the Guildhall.”

 

Bishop Sisters Jail and Bail

Bail out the Bishops

Name: The Bishop Sisters - Amanda and Jenny Bishop
Occupation: PR and Marketing Princesses
Company: Real Ideas Organisation / Plymouth City Council
Crime: Unauthorised impersonation of each other
Plea: This is an outrage! We are quite clearly different and individual people – only one of us has crazy curly hair!
Bail: £999
Chances of getting off: Zero

Since 2009 there have been two Bishop sisters residing in Plymouth, much to the delight (and confusion) of many people in this fair city.
On regular occasions, witnesses have reported them dressing identically, finishing each other’s sentences, using identical gestures and mannerisms, as well as talking in stereo. This is a clear and blatant attempt to confuse and mislead the business community, with no good intention. Whilst family likeness is expected, this level of mimicry will not be tolerated.

 

Andy Blacklock Jail and Bail

Bail out Andy

Name: Andy Blacklock
Occupation: Managing Director
Company: Maitlands Estate Agents
Crime: Fashion fail
Plea: I think I look great in Lycra – this isn’t a crime, surely?
Bail: £999
Chances of getting off: Zero!

Andy Blacklock of Maitlands has repeatedly made fashion faux pas by wearing lycra at inappropriate times. He was recently seen in the office sporting a very tight lycra ensemble, not giving any consideration to the innocent and subsequently shocked staff and clients. He claimed it was all for charity – but there really is too much evidence to prove otherwise.

 

Jo Butler Jail and Bail

Bail out Jo

Name: Jo Butler
Occupation: Business Development Manager / DBN founder
Company: Eden Hotel Collection / Bovey Castle
Crime: Too much hobnobbing and ‘doing lunch’
Plea: I can’t believe I’m being charged with this crime
– I only ‘do lunch’ (and other meals) six times a week. It’s part of my job role – I was born to hobnob.
Bail: £999
Chances of getting off: Zero!

The accused is well-known locally for purposely organising breakfast events, networking lunches and schmoozing dinners all on the same day, with the excuse that ‘its part of her job role’ at Bovey Castle and Dartmoor Business network. She is a self-confessed queen of hobnobbing and blames the head chef for forcing her to have lunch with clients every day. She has even been known to make up meetings on the pretence that it’s a business lunch.

Ali Carnegie Jail and Bail

Bail out Ali

Name: Ali Carnegie
Occupation: Managing Director
Company: Total Energy Solutions
Crime: Diary Disasters
Plea: I really don’t believe you’ve charged me with this – my “occasional” diary blips are completely due to technology (and my wife!).
Bail: £999
Chances of getting off: Zero

Ali Carnegie of Total Energy Solutions is renowned for his diary disasters. Recently, he arrived exactly one month early for a networking event and managed to triple book himself in Plymouth, Exeter and Taunton on the same day.
His most shocking and unforgivable crime to date is forgetting that he had promised to be Santa for a local charity, but due to a ‘diary error’, he failed to arrive. As a result, the charity had to get a replacement Santa so the children were not disappointed.

Emma Gamble Jail and Bail

Bail out Emma

Name: Emma Gamble
Occupation: Independent Financial Advisor
Company: Chase de Vere
Crime: Stalking major high street toy shops in Plymouth
Plea: This is totally ridiculous! This is all in the name of market research and ensuring I find the best possible price for good quality products. All this time is for the good of my son, to ensure he has high quality toys to play with at home.
Bail: £999
Chances of getting off: Zero

Ms Gamble has been seen arriving at toys shops at opening and leaving at closing time every Saturday and Sunday in search of a bargain. She was once discovered in a wendy house at 1.00am and claims this was a simple misunderstanding. She insists that she simply ‘nodded off’ and wasn’t hiding. CCTV evidence clearly shows her testing out all the swings and slides.

Nick Henderson Jail and Bail

Bail out Nick

Name: Nick Henderson
Occupation: Managing Director
Company: Mansbridge Balment
Crime: Cringeworthy impersonations
Plea: Not guilty
Bail: £999
Chances of getting off: Zero!

The accused is renowned for his bad impersonations and even worse guitar playing. He persistently insists on showering friends, family and colleagues with his impressions of a bad Basil Fawlty, ear splitting Elvis and cringeworthy Cat Stevens.
He openly admits he is heavily into role play and cannot play or sing a note. For the sake of his long suffering acquaintances this man has to be found guilty!

 

Carl Heslop Jail and Bail

Bail out Carl

Name: Carl Heslop
Occupation: Managing Director
Company: Obedair Construction
Crime: Stealing children’s sweets
Plea: I am not guilty of stealing my children’s sweets – I keep telling them I’m their sweet tester and by doing so, am saving them from potential harm.
Bail: £999
Chances of getting off: As much chance as getting locked in a sweet shop overnight.

Mr Heslop of Obedair Construction is known locally as the sweet stealer of Plymouth. He blatantly steals sweets and confectionery from his children and colleagues.
He shows no remorse and even lies to his children about his crimes. He is an addict. He has been known to eat six boxes of wine gums in one sitting and foolishly believes he will one day hold the Guinness World Record for confectionery consumption. He claims his crimes are just practice for the big event.

 

Helen Marks Jail and Bail

Bail out Helen

Name: Helen Marks
Occupation: Branch Manager
Company: HSBC
Crime: Repetitive cake eating for any meal
Plea: I enjoy chocolate and cake occasionally – I don’t eat any more than the next person. I have willpower and all of your evidence is lies (probably...)
Bail: £999
Chances of getting off: Zero!

Helen Marks of HSBC has been seen eating both chocolate and cake for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Witnesses also report sightings at the supermarket, buying copious amounts of cake and then eating the evidence before she gets home.
It is reported that she frequently gatecrashes charity coffee mornings just to feed her addiction, claiming: “it’s all in a good cause”. She recently gave up alcohol for the month as it was easier than giving up cake or chocolate. A sad addict. Throw the book (or cake) at her!

Jonathan Philpotts Jail and Bail

Bail out Jonathan

Name: Jonathan Philpotts
Occupation: Director
Company: Plymouth Golf Centre
Crime: Embarrassing himself at dinner parties
Plea: This is ridiculous. I totally deny everything. It wasn’t me, I wasn’t asleep and my music isn’t loud...
Bail: £999
Chances of getting off: Zero

Reliable sources have informed us that Mr Philpotts is frequently falling asleep in front of guests at dinner parties, usually when everyone has retired to the lounge and he insists on playing his repertoire of loud music.
On one such occasion, guests were so disgusted with his behaviour, they graffitied his head in attempts to awaken him, but later found out he didn’t realise until the next morning, even after a taxi journey home. These embarrassing and discourteous occurrences must be brought to an end.

 

Debra Sweet Jail and Bail

Bail out Debra

Name: Debra Sweet
Occupation: Director
Company: Doorstep Property Management
Crime: Pampering during working hours
Plea: “I cannot believe I am being charged for looking this perfect. I have a duty to maintain this look – I don’t wake up like this! I’m actually saving the NHS thousands of pounds.If the public could see the natural me, they’d be shocked!”
Bail: £999
Chances of getting off: About as much chance as seeing Ms Sweet in her natural form

Ms Sweet, Director of Doorstep Property Management, Plymstock, Plymouth is finally being charged for blatantly lying to her staff about her whereabouts on most days. She regularly claims that she is “going to the bank” when in fact she has been spotted attending various pampering establishments – ranging from nail bars, hairdressers, beauty parlours and spas, with the occasional charity lunch thrown in for good measure.

Mike Turner Jail and Bail

Bail out Mike

Name: Mike Turner
Occupation: Managing Director
Company: Tin Digital
Crime: Excessive talking and telling embarrassing jokes
Plea: Not guilty
Bail: £999
Chances of getting off: None!

Mr Turner is well known in Plymouth Networking circles for his excessive talking, over use of the word “super” and telling terrible jokes. By admission, he confesses that he is the Prince of Prosecco, Duke of Doom Bar and Baron of Beer, and blames his excessive talking on these beverages. It’s about time his excessive chatter was put to rest and he is held accountable for his appalling jokes.

 

Tim Yorke Dunn Jail and Bail

Bail out Tim

Name: Tim Yorke-Dunne
Occupation: Managing Director
Company: Martin Luck Group
Crime: Blatantly lying to his children
Plea: I can’t believe this is a crime – I wave to the man on the moon every night! He’s real…
Bail: £999
Chances of getting off: Zero!

The accused Mr Yorke-Dunne of Martin Luck Group has convinced his three children that there really is a man on the moon. The children have reportedly been brain washed into believing that a gentleman known as Janna Doonie resides on the moon and grows Popping Candy in an old cheese mine. Mr Yorke-Dunne is guilty and bordering on insane and for the sake of his children needs to be brought to justice.